The Perfect Relationship?

The Perfect Relationship?

Our Wedding Day - August 12th, 2006

We are sometimes blown away by the remarks we receive from our friends and contacts on social media, when people comment on our posts. 
Here are some of the recent ones: 

"You two have the best life."

"You guys are funny."

"The world needs more people like you and Mark"

"You are lucky to have each other!"

"We know you both are very blessed."

"Ahh, you all look so happy!"

"I love your lives!"

"You're living the dream!"

"You guys have so much fun!"

When reading these comments, we realize that these wonderful people may have come to the conclusion (and many have told us) that they believe we live a charmed life and that we have the perfect relationship. 

Viewing our social media presence, perhaps they have drawn the inference that we are eternally happy because we only post about the best of times. We don't 'air our dirty laundry' on Facebook (or elsewhere), because, from very early on, we decided that, in the face of so much negativity, polarization, and yes- sometimes downright rudeness, that is apparent on social media - we would endeavour to uplift our internet companions through pictures of the beauty of the natural world that we encounter, through positive commenting, and through our sense of humour. 

That being said, we do tend to be in sync with each other for most of the time, and so the experiences we share do reflect our general outlook upon life. 

So, how is it that we have arrived at this stage in our lives together? 

A few years ago, we came across a way of looking at ourselves, and the world, that completely changed our perspective. What follows may not resonate with you, and that is fine: if so, just gently lay this aside. We offer this, not with the intention of convincing anyone, but to share what we have found to be true for us. 

We have embraced the belief that each person has two aspects in their makeup - the physical, and the non-physical. Some people may call the latter aspect, 'the soul'. Others may call it, 'the Divine or the God within'. We like to refer to it as our Inner Being. It doesn't matter what label is assigned to this non-physical part of our personality, but we have discovered that it matters very much that the two aspects are in sync with each other in order to have inner harmony, clarity, and a joyful life experience. 

We also have come to know that our emotions are our indicators of how close or how far apart those two facets are at any time in our daily experience. In other words, when our physical and non-physical aspects are aligned, we feel positive emotions; when they are not, it shows up as negative emotion. 

Understanding our emotions

As a result, we now understand that unconditional love means that, regardless of the conditions or circumstances that may be happening around us, we can always choose to focus upon a thought that brings the two parts of who we are back into alignment. Conditional love means that we are just being observers of circumstances and, as a result, we fall into knee-jerk reactions to what we are seeing and hearing. This puts us at the mercy of the conditions around us. Things tend to get better and better if the conditions are favourable; and they get worse and worse when the conditions are not to our liking. On those times when we allow ourselves to fall back into the latter habits, we then attempt to control the conditions outside of us - which is an impossible task. We have come to realize that the only thing we can truly control is our response to what we are observing - what we choose to focus upon and give our attention to. 

So often, in the past, whenever Mark or I felt 'off', we looked outside of ourselves for the reason - often blaming one another because of a remark, or an action that the other had presented. 

Worse still, we can fall into blaming ourselves. 

Now, we realize that the way we feel has nothing to do with what anyone else is saying or doing... rather, it is an indication of the closeness or distance between these two aspects of ourselves, the physical and the non-physical, and so we have the power to change our perspective without holding the other responsible for how we feel. It is very freeing for both of us to realize that we have let each other off the hook - we don't hold each other responsible for our happiness.

 

So, the real 'perfect relationship' is the one that each of us has with our Inner Being...and when we get that right, everything else falls into place. Conversely, when we don't, then we find more and more to complain about, and things spiral from bad to worse. We know - we've been there! 

In so many ways, our friends and contacts on social media are right. Our relationship is truly wonderful - because, like all relationships, it includes ups and downs, moments of joy and moments of annoyance, times of elation and times of boredom, instances when we are rapturous in each other's company, and instances when we are out of sync with each other. 

The beautiful thing is that when we find ourselves out of sync with one another, both Mark and I know what to do about it, and can bring ourselves back into alignment fairly quickly without either of us sacrificing our integrity, authenticity, or independence. This may account for the happiness that people pick up upon when they interact with us. It's because we each prioritize the most important relationship - which is the one with our innermost selves - knowing that that is who we really are. We can always find our way back home - to who we really are.

Next year, we will have been together for 30 years (Mark likes to say, '30 LONG years!!!')

Maybe we'll have a short renewal-of-vows ceremony that will reflect this way of thinking...and it might look something like this:

On this day, my promise to you is that I will always endeavour to look for the best that is within you, and that I will strive to remember that my happiness is my responsibility.

I promise that I will always make it my intention to look to my own alignment with who I really am, so that I can appreciate the fullness of who you are. 

Together, let us grow in unconditional love for one another and encourage each other to be the very best that we can be.

Celebrating our 25th in Barrie, Ontario (2017)

Celebrating our 25th in Elliot Lake, 2017

With all our love, 

Alan and Mark

It Didn't Hurt... to Stay in a Yurt!

 It Didn't Hurt... to Stay in a Yurt!

After searching for a short getaway with a wood-burning stove, we finally found a little piece of heaven, thanks to our friend, Corey, who had stayed in this Yurt, back in January. 

We had heard about these constructions, and seen a few of them sprinkled along beaches; but after Corey raved about his experience, we realized our search had come to its conclusion. 

Iron Bridge is a small village that is situated on the Mississagi River, just an hour away from our home, in Elliot Lake. 

The Yurt is to be found on the banks of that same river, nestled in an 80 acre private property, with a 5 minute hike along a trail from the parking area. 

The snow and ice covered trail to the yurt was manageable as the host provided a small toboggan which made it easy for us to cart our stuff to the yurt. 

During the winter, a toboggan is available to carry stuff from your vehicle to the yurt. 

Heather, the host, has provided a glamping experience which enables the guests to live off-grid while enjoying the beautiful, natural scenery. It's a place where you can 'unplug from life and reconnect with nature... a place to relax and recharge'. 

What we found, upon arrival, far exceeded our expectations, and we knew we were going to thoroughly enjoy our stay. 

On the AirBnB website, it states that the yurt is one room, equipped with a queen bed, a dresser for storage, a small dining table and chairs, a small one burner butane indoor cook stove, as well as (what for us was the main attraction) a wood-burning stove. We loved the circular skylight at the top of the 'dome', which afforded splendid views of the surrounding treetops... as well as an awesome view of the stars at night. 

We loved the stove - and the old kettle (used solely for humidifying the yurt)

Really comfy bed, with extra blankets

Water dispenser and one-burner cookstove. (More water can be delivered upon request)

The Outhouse was situated a few steps away from the yurt, and was spacious, clean, and odourless, so even taking care of business was not unpleasant!

Heather had the fire going upon our arrival, and there was more than enough firewood to keep it going for the duration of our stay. Although off grid, there was a large water dispenser that was also ample for our two-night stay. 

To top everything, our wonderful host had left two farm-fresh eggs and a homemade loaf of bread, wrapped in a cloth, on the table. What a greeting that was! 

Thanks to these chickens for providing us with two fresh eggs!

After all the 'oohs' and 'aahs' that were elicited from us, we read the manual, settled our stuff, and took a walk around the property to orient ourselves. 

The views along the river were expansive and, although there was some open water, most of the surface was still frozen. We watched as some ice floes drifted towards where the yurt is situated where they collided with some unbroken ice. (During the night, we noticed that the sound of the ice breaking up and clashing together would sometimes sound as though someone was walking and crunching in the snow, just outside the yurt!) There is a boat launch on the property which is available for use during the summer. We made our way down to it so that we could see along the river more clearly.

We sat on this bench for a while - just taking in the sheer peace and beauty of this place

Boat launch

Selfie looking South

Looking towards the North

Among the trees, we observed several maple sap buckets hanging on their spiles. 

I remember (from my teaching days) that the best time for the sap to run is when temperatures drop below zero degrees Celsius at night, and rise above zero during the day. Also, it takes 40 buckets of sap to make 1 bucked of maple syrup, once the water has been boiled off.

This brought back memories of our house/pet sit in Vermont, where we joined in the tapping of the trees. (Take a look at our previous blog which describes our experience: Tapping the Trees - A New Experience for Us! )

By suppertime, we had abandoned our original plan - because the fresh bread was beckoning mightily and strongly!!! We had brought with us a toasting fork, and so we did something we hadn't done for several years... we toasted thick slices of bread on the fire, spread oodles of butter on the toast, and reveled in the oozing of the butter as it trickled down our chins!

Once of our all-time favourite things to do - toasting bread over hot embers!

Our first night was so comfortable and toasty warm, though we did have to get up a few times to replenish the wood-burning stove with another log. By the second night, we had mastered the process resulting in fewer interruptions to our sleep. (It was reminiscent of our experience when we lived on the Holland Marsh, where we would keep the stove burning for days on end). There's something about the smell of burning wood that we find alluring... and the heat from these stoves warms you right through to the bone!

The next day, breakfast comprised of the rest of the loaf, toasted, of course, with the accompanying butter, and a hot cup of coffee after boiling the water on the stove. A decision was made about how we were going to spend our day, and we took off on a trip north of the area, along the Mississagi River, on the road that leads to Chapleau. Some cloud cover dispersed and we were able to enjoy a hike as we watched out for wildlife emerging from the winter season. 

Returning to the yurt, we used the wood-burning stove to heat up a frozen, home-made meal we had cooked a couple of days beforehand and brought with us. After satiating our appetite, we sat outside on the deck for a while to enjoy the sunset and the fresh breeze that was coming of the river. We were watching out for owls, as we had heard them the night before. Mark used an app that he has on his phone which plays various bird calls and we tried to entice an owl into our vicinity, but with no luck - this time!

View of the river from our yurt

An interesting sky, which we noticed just before it started to get dark

Before turning in, Mark felt compelled to pick up the axe that was lodged in a tree stump! Although we had plenty of wood for our needs, he wanted to wield the axe for old times' sake (remembering, again, our time on the Holland Marsh). 

In spite of this picture being embedded in my mind, I did sleep fairly well! 

At around 1:30 a.m., Mark was thrilled when he looked up through the skylight and saw the Big Dipper (aka the Plough, in the U.K.) from the comfort of the bed! We decided to sit outside and enjoy the stars... and listen for owls, and other sounds of nature. After 30 minutes or so, we retired, once more, to the comfort of the bed, and slept soundly until our tummies reminded us it was time for breakfast, once more. 

Although it was only a two-night getaway, we left there feeling uplifted and replenished... with the certain knowledge that we would repeat the experience at some time in the future. Heather is a superb host and had thought of everything to make our stay comfortable and enjoyable.

As an added bonus, as we left the yurt to return home, we explored some of the back roads and discovered a whole new area for future exploration - as well as stumbling upon several deer in the adjacent fields - much to Mark's delight! 

====================================================

For further details about this yurt, please go to this link: A yurt on the banks of the Mississagi River.

Ice Shelves on Lake Huron - What Humans Began, Nature Completed!

 Ice Shelves on Lake Huron - 

What Humans Began, Nature Completed!

Last Saturday started out like any other day - the promise of a hike in our local area. Little did we know that it would lead to an experience that we would never have expected!

The Boom Camp Trails, just south of Blind River, Ontario, are one of our frequent places to hike, and we love to swim in the shallow waters of Lake Huron in the many coves that punctuate the trails. Last November, our curiosity was piqued when we decided to follow a road near the entrance of the trails which we had not yet navigated. After a 2 km drive, the gravel road ended where the Mississagi River empties into the Great Lake, and we were surprised by the extended sandy beach area that skirted this part of the coast. We decided that we would return the following summer and see if it was good for swimming. 

In January, we thought it would be a good idea to take a walk along the beach, even though the sand would be snow-covered. Alas, when we got to the start of the road, a gate barred our entry, and we could see that the road, itself, had not been maintained.

This last Friday, we suggested to our friends, Julie and Chris, that it would be safe to take their two dogs, Jett and Dexter, for a walk along the road as there would be no traffic allowed along it. We agreed to meet at around 8:30 the next morning. However, when we arrived, the gate was nowhere to be seen. We concurred that traffic would be sparse and the dogs are well-disciplined, so it would be safe to walk to the beach. 

Dexter and Jett were very interested in a squirrel that had evaded them!

When we got there, we cast our eyes along the beach and were intrigued by some ice formations about 1 km along the coast. They seemed to be like small hills, and we were determined to see them close up. 

The first sighting that created curiosity

Upon our arrival, we were complete floored by what we saw. There was a line of ridges made up of huge crystal-like rocks of ice that had piled up on top of each other. Although it was not as magnificent as the icebergs we had seen in Newfoundland, it was still breath-taking to see the formations that reached heights estimated as high as 30-40 ft. 

Almost like huge crystals

We loved the blue tint as the light played upon the ice

We estimated that this pile was at least 30-40 ft high

A couple of people have told Mark that this is an award-winning shot!

We had to take a short movie clip of this splendour...

We spent an hour or so safely exploring them, and taking photo after photo of this unusual phenomenon. (We had seen some ice formations on Lake Superior, but never here, on Huron). 

Julie and Chris with Jett and Dexter

The block of ice that Mark is sitting on seemed to be emitting its own light source

Remembering that we had also arranged to meet CJ and Art, some other friends of ours, for an afternoon hike, we concluded that we wanted them to enjoy what we were witnessing, and so we excitedly called them to make arrangements for them to meet up with us and spend some time exploring along the coast a little further. 

Nipping back into Blind River to grab a bite to eat, we met with them, and our mutual friend, Kathy, and returned to the end of the road by the beach area. 

Sure enough, their response was as full of awe as ours had been upon first sighting of the 'ice mountains'. Once again, cellphones were put into use as pictures were taken. The clear blue skies of the morning had given way to some cloud coverage, but it was still splendid to see the ice formations, and the way the light played upon them showing different shades of blue and green. During the several hours we were there, we only saw about half a dozen people who were out there, taking it all in. 

Art and CJ were more than happy that they joined us in the afternoon

Kathy's smile says it all!

The 'motley crew' being socially distant.

Us with a couple of our 'nephews'!

On our way back to the parking lot, we happened upon the Mayor of Blind River, and her husband, who related that they had been out on that trail two days beforehand, and there had been no ice shelves at all. Apparently, an ice breaker had been out on the lake, and the huge dislodged chunks of ice had been worked upon by winds and waves, culminating in the spectacle that we now saw before us. What humans had begun, nature had completed!

We were fortunate to have discovered them when we did as, the next day, the parking lot was filled to the brim, and the approaching road lined up with vehicles. Friends who visited that day told us that it was difficult to get a decent picture without people being included. 

Also, on the following day, someone posted a video taken with a drone over the ice formations, showing the channel that had been cut by the ice breaker - a channel that could not be seen from our vantage point. Here's the video clip, courtesy of Northern Playtime:

What had been planned as a brief excursion along a 2 km road and back, turned in to a 7-hour experience, with good friends and our 4-legged nephews, to boot! 

As we have often found, to our ongoing joy: the best days are those that have not been planned... the ones that happen spontaneously.