Other People's Opinions of Us are None of Our Business!
Most of us are trained, from a very early age, to please other people. Our parents and teachers - probably with the best intentions - praised us when we behaved in ways that were pleasing to them, and withheld praise when we did things of which they disapproved. (In some cases, the disapproval included some sort of punishment).
It's only natural that we bask in the approval of others, and shrink from experiencing the opposite; but when we continue to care about the opinions of others, we find ourselves being tossed to and fro because each person with whom we interact wants and expects different things from us... and we just hope that they never turn up in the same room at the same time!!
Several of us have experienced that a person can keep 'changing the rules' so that we feel obliged to change our behaviour to meet their new expectations.
Before we know it, we have lost ourselves - our sense of who we are - and we find ourselves being ruled by continually seeking the approval of those we love or admire. Whether this is obvious to us, or very subtle in its manifestation, the effects are the same.
When we can control our need to please others, and focus upon living our life the way WE want to live it, then we find true freedom and true independence and are able to live authentically.
I couldn't agree MORE, my friend! I look at where I am now....coming up to 75 on March 6th (NO WAY!!! lol) and I'm proud of who I have become over the years. I've had many Life Lessons thrown at me, but I never allowed it to define me. I have learned to find a Silver Lining even when things look bleak. I march to the beat of my own drummer and if someone disapproves....sobeit. Thank you for this beautiful post, it warmed my heart....but also made me sad as I miss you both! Sure hope you get this way soon....it would WARM OUR HEARTS to have you! Thanks for all your wonderful blogs, I enjoy them ever so much. I may not reply often, but I LOVE them (AND BOTH OF YOU!!!) Hugs my friend, to both you and Mark xoxo
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